[Being Asian: Answering the Door]

I apologize for not posting in so long. With the end of school nearing bearing large projects and rather impressive final exams, and a computer virus that prevents me from using Microsoft Word, I've found myself with very little time; limited resources; and ultimately, a lack of inspiration to do any decent writing. Today, I am working on writing a bunch of notecards to cover the topics I've looked over all year for my history class. I'm about mid-way through the mess, so I decided to take a break and write. I got a nugget of inspiration just a few moments ago when my doorbell rang.

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There are many advantages to being an Asian, with an Asian-looking face, an Asian-looking stature, and an Asian-sounding accent--maybe even knowing an Asian dialect. I've found that this comes in handy whenever I find particularly pesky strangers at my door. This is how things are usually handled.

The doorbell rings; I come face-to-face with a young teen trying to sell me magazines to raise money for their school fund-raiser. Today, I decide that I will pull out my Cantonese tongue.

"I don't have a phone to buy a refridgerator," I say in a dialect foreign to the young man before me. I was short on quick improvisation, and this was all I could utter. I accompany this remark with a confused face and a slight shrug of the shoulders. The man apologizes profusely, and turns to leave.

Maybe I come across a young man asking me to let Jesus into me heart. Well, I don't want to stand in the doorway for half-an-hour to get lectured by this guy about something I honestly don't really give two flying neon turds about.What do I do?

"Oh, like-ah the Buddha! Yes, rearry good man!" then I continue in a heavy accent rambling a bit about Buddhism, then eventually talking completely in Cantonese gibberish ( some more of that refridgerator stuff ). Soon, the man, himself gets confused, pardons himself, and I slam the door in his face.

Disclaimer: In no way am I trying to offend Asians, or the guys going door-to-door to raise money for schools, or the guys trying to spread religion. I am just trying to make a somewhat humourous post about how I use my ethnicity to my advantage all in good fun.